Get Here
by Scandalacious Intentions
Summary: Prequel to 'I attempt from love's sickness to fly' for all those who asked for it but it can be read as stand-alone story. Tonks blames herself for Sirius' death and seeks comfort from his best friend.


**Disclaimer: Yep, JK still owns the lot.**

**A/N: Prequel to I Attempt from Love's Sickness to Fly. Set the night after the Battle of the Department of Mysteries in OotP. Oh and suggested listening is obviously 'Get Here' by Oleta Adams. I suppose this could also be a sequel to Kreacher Comforts even though it's not even finished yet.**

It was too quiet; far too quiet without Sirius. It didn't feel right to be in his house either because that's what it was. They had been so close, they had been best friends and admittedly, he had lodged here for the past two years but that didn't make it any less Sirius' house. It was probably Harry's now anyway and hopefully they would still be allowed to meet here for the sake of the Order.

He had better get his things together. He supposed he was lucky that he had so very little, it meant that packing would be the work of minutes and yes the pain would be unbearable for those minutes but at least it would not be hours. The pain would ebb.

It was only once he reached the first floor that he heard the opening bars of the sort of cheesy ballad that he assumed only his mother and teenaged girls listened to. It was a far cry from what he always thought the third occupant of Grimmauld would listen to. His attempted smile faltered. If Tonks had been paying more attention, Sirius would be practically dancing through the door with him. He wasn't sure that he trusted himself to see her so soon after- he took a deep breath. How the hell was it her fault?

Besides, maybe he could kid himself for a while. She was remarkably good at helping him forget his situation and even, at times, who he was.

_I don't care how you get here,_

_Just get here if you can_

He stood outside her door now. It had been the spare room that she had borrowed the night of Sirius' party so long ago and yet it seemed like yesterday. She listened to Oleta Adams? Not that that was a sin, he just didn't expect it of her. Her sobs were all the encouragement that Lupin needed to push open the door. He would have knocked but he knew she wouldn't have heard him. Besides, there was nothing he hadn't seen. What could she have to hide from him?

Tonks lay curled in the foetal position at the end of the bed. The room was pitch black and the only sounds came from the Muggle radio she had tuned last year. She didn't even hear him come in or perhaps she was choosing to ignore him. Lupin cleared his throat and she sat up with a jolt, wiping her eyes and attempting to smile but her weak and cracking voice betrayed her.

"Remus?"

"Who else would I be?"

She shrugged and sniffed. "I thought you were Kreacher."

"I should be offended," he muttered, sitting at the other end of the bed, his back to the headboard and one knee tucked into the arms that enveloped it. He looked like a small child, hugging himself for comfort.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

"S'alright. I've been mistaken for worse."

He wished she wouldn't cry. If she cried, he would. He had come here to forget about Sirius but without her ever changing eyes and bubblegum hair, she could have been his double and Lupin found that he couldn't look at her. That wasn't going to help her believe that he didn't blame her.

Her whole body shook and she retched, leaning over the bed as though she were going to vomit but knowing that she wouldn't. She was surprised her eyes still had the water for tears.

Feeling arms around her, Tonks allowed herself to be pulled back onto her bed and lay in the crook of Lupin's arm, pinning him there because she was too afraid to admit to even herself that he must hate her and as soon as he knew she wasn't about to attempt suicide, he would leave. He would leave her.

"Don't go," she whispered into his shoulder. "Stay with me. Please."

She assumed that he wouldn't hear her but she hadn't reckoned with Lupin's hearing abilities. He nodded and kissed the top of her head.

"It's not your fault, you know," he assured her. "Sirius knew who he was dealing with. He didn't have to go." He knew as soon as he said that that of course Sirius had to go. It was unlike Sirius to stay at home and wait for news and because it was Harry, Lupin was sure that Sirius would have gone even if he had known his fate.

"But you haven't got anyone have you? And it's all my fault."

"I've got you."

She revelled in his weight atop her. His kiss was considerably less practised, less purposeful and certainly less controlled but Tonks found that she could get used to this. She was aware of the fact that he had avoided her since he had ended their brief relationship during Easter but she could care less at this moment. At least he was here now. He had somehow answered her cry for help. How he had known never crossed her mind. After all, Remus Lupin knew everything.

In this moment, when she looked so childlike and vulnerable, Lupin knew he had made the right decision. This woman gave the impression that she was something of a hard-nut but she was so easily broken and he would never forgive himself if he broke her. This was one night and it would be the last. For now, he could pretend that she needed him tonight. This was a kiss between friends, it happened all the time, the world over. He wasn't entirely convinced and as a result, tried to ignore her hands pulling frantically at his hair as she responded with an urgency he had never known her capable of.

Her hands were everywhere. Good Gods, how far was she going to take this? Still, it wasn't altogether unpleasant. In fact, that was quite possibly the understatement of the century. It was like saying that Voldemort had been a little bit naughty. Maybe just a little longer. Yes, he would allow her to continue such administrations for a few minutes at most and then he really would stop this before-

"Tonks-" Lupin made a face. He had always hated calling her that in bed. Not that they were in bed, of course and nor would he allow them to _go _to bed. They just happened to be kissing, if that was still the word for it, and trying to talk things through and they just happened to be doing so on a bed.

"Remus, really! Just be quiet."

Her fingers worked the buttons of his shirt. Yes, she was right. It was pretty hot in here. He didn't want to risk overheating. Just his shirt then. Why was he kicking off his shoes? Ah! Of course, they were on a bed and one just didn't wear shoes on a bed. He had been right. There was always a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything. He had better remove his belt then too because her nose stud could be magnetic and that would just be awkward. Merlin, he was half naked! _Now_ was the time to stop.

"No really Dora," he told her, thinking he should push her away but not wanting to. "I think we should talk."

"We _have _talked."

Good point. Okay, so maybe she could take her t-shirt off too because there was no reason for her to overheat either, not allowing her to would be selfish and quite possibly a health risk. Her bra was probably causing her discomfort. Bras did that apparently, at least that's what he'd been told.

Yes, and jeans were the hottest and clammiest fabric around, or was that velvet. It didn't matter. Those were lovely knickers and he was sure the floor was pretty bare and might need them for modesty.

So now they were _both_ naked. This was getting progressively further and further out of control. He could regain control and he _would_, just maybe in the morning. Mornings were good for gaining control.

And now they were both naked and kissing. Well that was okay. Naked kissing he could deal with. He'd done more than naked kissing without feeling awkward. Friends did this all the time. Okay, maybe friends did it once and he was sure that they were never naked but he and Dora had always been willing to push boundaries.

He couldn't think anymore. He didn't _want_ to think anymore.

* * *

Tonks had always been a heavy sleeper so it wasn't too difficult to slide out of her bed, locate his clothes, some of which were, for inexplicable reasons, hanging from the lampshade on the ceiling, and bugger off to pack.

"Remus?"

Shit. No, wait. It was okay, she was still asleep.

And as a result when Tonks awoke to the sound of the door creaking open four hours later, she found the left side of the bed, the side that had become his over the last year, cold and empty. It was alright though, he would be coming in now and knowing Remus, he would be bringing tea. Super.

Except it wasn't.

It wasn't Remus and it certainly wasn't super.

"Kreacher, get out!"

The elf did as he was bidden, muttering as he did so about the multi-coloured she-wolf and she felt like a she-wolf as she howled in pain. He'd left her. Why did he keep doing this? She hated him; and yet, despite such burning hatred, she loved him with all her being and she'd get him to understand that or die trying. Her hair would be bright pink and look fabulous in no time. Super.

Except it wasn't and she couldn't make it so. Great, so now she couldn't morph either. She was trapped in the short and boring body of Nymphadora Tonks.

"Bastard," she hissed, glad that he couldn't hear her.

On the plus side, she was trapped in the form that he told her he loved. She was trapped in the form that he found most endearing. She was trapped in the form that he always made love to her in.

Things could be worse.


End file.
